A Guy Said It's 'Canadian' To Be Close With Your Ex & Left His GF For Not Being A 'Toronto Girl'
"He told me that he couldn’t commit to me because I’m not from Toronto."
Two people sitting on a bench.
A woman in Toronto says she was broken up with for not being born in the city and relating to "Toronto culture."
In a Reddit post, a 30-year-old woman, who identified herself as Alyssa to Narcity, said her boyfriend told her he couldn't commit because she wasn't from Toronto and didn't like Canadian things – like being friends with an ex.
Her ex said he was tired of introducing her to things like "hiking, camping, food, [the] bar scene, music, art, culture, McDonald's, jays games, comedy shows," so he ended the relationship, and people definitely don't agree with his hot take.
Alyssa was born and raised in an Asian country and moved to Mississauga when she was 17 years old, and when she moved downtown last year, she says she met this "great Canadian guy."
But the internet doesn't think Mr. Canada is that great.
"He was tired of introducing me to things. The thing is, I actually do greatly struggle with this so he isn't wrong. I don't want him back, but I suppose I wonder what can I do to better my odds of finding a partner in this city," Alyssa wrote in her post.
"I lived here for 14 years yet I still feel like I can never fit in and it makes dating difficult. I have never had a proper relationship because of this."
Is it Canadian to like McDonald's and stay close to an ex?
One of the "Canadian quirks" the man mentioned to Alyssa was the culture of being close friends with an ex.
"He dated a girl for 8 years before me, they broke up and are still friends. They talk everyday and hang out constantly and he still likes and keeps all their intimate photos on social media," she wrote on Reddit.
"I mentioned I'm uncomfortable with this (esp since he compares me to her) and he said that 'that's what Canadians do, we cherish our exes.'"
More than 1,000 people have commented on Alyssa's post, and most people are calling out her ex for stretching the Canadian truth and possibly being hung up on his ex.
"Dude, he still loves his ex. You're his backup. Do you really want to be his backup or to be someone else's first choice? He likely called you crying because she rejected him," one comment reads. "He is a liar, and he concocted this batshit reasoning to break up with you. Also, liking McDonald's isn't Canadian, McDonald's is a shitty American chain. Liking McDonald's is a sign that you have terrible taste."
"There are plenty of guys out there that don't want to make you go camping or be okay with them talking to their ex every day," another user wrote.
In an update, Alyssa said her ex called her up and said he was sorry and that he made a mistake and wanted to get back together.
"I desperately want to take him back, I can forgive the 'Canadian' comment, but I don't like his relationship with his ex," Alyssa wrote.
Commenters on her post urged her not to take her ex back, and some delivered this message with a little tough love.
"You're a fool if you take him back. Love can only get you so far and he has continuously tore you down, repeatedly belittled you, told you his SOULMATE was his ex and you feel he is still worthy to be forgiven? He has shown that you will always be second-place to his ex. You will NEVER be enough to him. He has shown his true colours."
"Take some time to reflect on why YOU feel your time and energy needs to be spent on this loser. There are better options out there, and it ain't him."
Several commenters chimed in and said that his issue isn't Canadian at all since plenty of couples have different interests.
"I dated plenty of 'Canadian' girls. What Op [original poster] describes is not a Canadian guy with Canadian interests. It's a man child who never got over his ex, not ready for a mature long term relationship with intertwined financial commitments, and lying to Op with flimsy 'Canadian' excuses to put her down."
Will Alyssa get back with her ex?
Alyssa told Narcity she hasn't gotten back together with her ex yet.
"I told him I'll think about it, and in the end we both agreed we need space from each other. Most people here are telling me not to take him back. But we feel very intensely for each other, and I think we both know what we have is rare and quite frankly, the Toronto dating market absolutely sucks. We agreed to revisit how we feel in 2 weeks," she said.
She says the love she has received in the comments, especially from other people of colour raised in Ontario, has been "overwhelming."
"I feel WAY better about myself, and more confident in who I am and my experiences. I was extremely insecure before and now I feel more confident to lay it bare and date more authentically," she said.
"I do worry I won't find someone with the same chemistry I had with my ex though. But generally I appreciate all the love I've gotten from people here."
When it comes to the Toronto dating scene, Alyssa says she struggled with dating because everyone wants a "baddie," and she doesn't subscribe to the city's hookup culture.
She says it's also hard because she's estranged from her family and dealing with her own baggage while searching for a career.
"I'm struggling to find a career, and I don't have the looks to compensate for that,' she said. "[I ]Just want my happily ever after."
Since posting on Reddit, Alyssa says that she's gotten some interesting messages and offers – along with some hate in her inbox.
I've received tons of DMs from guys asking to date me and also a few hate messages calling me a "race traitor."
Despite the hate, Alyssa's comment section has been flooded with support, and the main consensus seems to be that she can do a whole lot better.
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.