I Sold Boating Licenses In Ontario & Here Are 5 Annoying Things People Did Hoping To Pass
The nerve. 🙄
A photo of Patrick. Right: A boat on Lake Ontario
The views expressed in this Opinion article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
I spent the entire summer of 2017 validating boating licenses outside a Bass Pro Shop near Vaughan Mills, and I loved it. Not because I have a passion for ripping wake or fishing, but because I got to spend most of my day reading books under a small tent.
Occasionally, someone would approach me looking to get their license, and I would escort them to the tent's larger, more secluded area and hand them a multiple-choice test. Easy peasy.
Or at least, it was when everybody played by the rules. But, every shift, a few morally ambivalent folks would try to persuade or fool me into waiving their need for basic boating knowledge.
I never caved. However, I was impressed by the sheer amount of slimy tactics people used in an attempt to pull the wool over my eyes.
So much so that I thought I'd share them with you.
Bribes, so many bribes
During my first day on the job, my supervisor warned me about accepting bribes from customers. Initially, I brushed her off, but sure enough, a few hours into my shift, a man approached me and offered to pay me $300 for the test answers.
I turned him down. I could have really used the money at the time, but there was no way I was letting someone with no knowledge of boating safety speed around a lake.
I wish I could tell you that the sleazy encounter was a one-off experience, but it happened once every couple of shifts.
If these people just studied for the test and passed, they'd be set for life as Pleasure Craft Operator Cards do not expire according to the Government of Canada.
Blatant stealing
Out of all the stunts people tried to pull, stealing was the most successful.
I once helped set up a group of young men in the testing area, only to watch them burst through the tent with the test answers in hand shortly after.
I also regularly had to stop people from grabbing papers or books off my makeshift desk. Of course, they always played dumb when I called them out, but I knew that if I let my guard down, they would steal whatever they could get their hands on.
Sadly, despite my best efforts, plenty of stuff did go missing from our tent over the summer, which was always awkward information to relay to my supervisor.
All this to avoid paying the $49.95 it costs to actually take Canadian Boater Safety Course.
Lecturing
You didn't always need a boating license to tear up a lake in Ontario. Older generations cruised our province's waters with nothing but their intuition serving them, and boy, do they ever love telling you that.
I had more than a few conversations about how boat safety was just a government money grab.
I distinctly remember a man who looked to be in his early 70s scolding me after he failed the test. He'd been boating his "whole life" but checked no to whether or not you should wear a life jacket.
The argument didn't last long, but I still think about it whenever I'm out on a lake and see another boater in the distance.
Just straight up asking for answers
Some people are willing to do anything to avoid studying for a test, including boldly asking a stranger to risk their job for them.
Yes, amongst the countless bribes were the people just looking for me to do them a favour. I rejected them all politely.
One of these approaches involved a father with his two young kids, who attempted to guilt trip me into giving him the test answers arguing that if I didn't, it would "ruin" their family's summer.
I mean, so would getting into a horrific boating accident, but okay.
Asking to take the test home
I sympathized with some people who asked me this question because I think they earnestly thought that's how it worked.
But, no, you can't just take the test home, look up all the answers and pretend as if you aced it — that's not how the world work.
Whenever someone would ask me this, I would always offer them one of the boating safety books we had, which, spoiler alert: literally contained all the answers to the test.
Sadly, there were rarely any takers.