I Asked ChatGPT For Canadian Pickup Lines & The Cringe Factor Is Almost Unfathomable

It's increasingly clear the robots have zero game.

A Canadian flag. Right: A man talking to a woman.
Features Editor

A Canadian flag. Right: A man talking to a woman.

ChatGPT is changing the way we interact with each other, enabling us to generate massive amounts of text in seconds. And if you happen to have a job that requires, say, filling blank spaces with words, the rapid advancement of artificial intelligence tools might be cause for concern.

However, there are still times when it's painfully obvious that ChatGPT is still a long way from being able to mirror the human condition back to us.

Take the challenge I recently presented to the program, for example.

I gave ChatGPT a simple prompt: "Give me 25 great Canada-themed pickup lines." And off it went.

Here's what the artificial intelligence tool was able to muster, from the best pickup lines to the worst.

1. "Do you want to go ice skating with me? Because I'm falling for you."

Alright, good start. Not only does this serve as an invitation to take part in an activity but you also get demonstrate a bit of self-deprecating humility.

2. "Hey, are you a curling stone? Because I'm swept off my feet by you."

The only way this backfires is if the recipient of the line has no familiarity with the sport that 90% of Canadians only pretend to care about during a Winter Olympics year.

3. "Hey, are you a beaver? Because daaaaamn, you're fine."

A little cheesy but once again, there's a setup and punchline that actually makes sense — which you can't say about all the entries on this list.

4. "Hey, are you a salmon? Because I want to swim upstream with you."

Again, credit for having a punchline but tread lightly when comparing the object of your romantic affection to a fish.

5. "Are you a hockey player? Because I'd let you score on me any day."

Here's where ChatGPT started getting a little randy.

6. "Hey, are you a polar bear? Because I want to hibernate with you."

This one would make more sense if polar bears hibernated. As a matter of fact, they do not.

7. "Are you a mountie? Because you have the right to remain handsome."

That's really not how Canada's criminal code works, but OK.

8. "Excuse me, are you from Montreal? Because you just stole my heart like the Canadiens steal pucks."

Yes, I am a big hockey fan and watch lots of hockey games. Why do you ask?

9. "Do you have a Canadian accent? Because it's music to my ears."

This is less a pickup line than a somewhat poetic observation.

10. "Are you a Canadian flag? Because I want to salute you every day."

Slightly creepy militaristic undertones aren't typically the way to someone's heart.

11. "Can I buy you a drink? I know a great place that serves Canadian whiskey."

Of all the pickup lines on this list, this one sounds the most like a robot pretending they're a human being.

12. "Do you want to go on a Tim Hortons run with me? I promise I'll make it worth your while."

If someone came up to you at a bar and said this, your first instinct would be that you're the target of a kidnapping attempt.

13. "Do you want to go on a road trip with me? I promise we'll see all the best Canadian sights."

Gee, mister... what else do you have in the back of that windowless van? Candy? A puppy?

14. "Hey, are you a park ranger? Because you have me wanting to explore your wilderness."

This is a great way to let someone you've never met before know that you're kind of a pervert.

15. "Are you a hockey rink? Because I want to spend all my time on you."

If you're spending all that time at the rink, how can you expect to hold up your end of the relationship?

16. "Excuse me, do you know how to play the bagpipes? Because you're making my heart sing."

Fun fact: There is virtually no situation where bagpipes should be incorporated into a pickup line.

17. "Are you a maple syrup bottle? Because you're so sweet, I could pour you all over my pancakes."

Once again, ChatGPT is really delivering on the serial killer vibes.

18. "Can I take you to a Canadian Football League game? Because you're my MVP."

Unless you're hitting on reigning Grey Cup MVP Hénoc Muamba of the Toronto Argonauts, nice try.

19. "Can I borrow a toque? Because you're making my heart feel warm and fuzzy."

These are possibly the early symptoms of a major cardiovascular episode.

20. "Are you a maple leaf? Because you have my heart turning red and white."

Sir, we need to get you to a hospital right away.

21. "Do you have a hockey stick? Because you're always on my mind."

Is it at all possibly that you've recently been struck in the head with a hockey puck?

22. "Hey, are you a moose? Because I can't take my eyes off you."

While you probably shouldn't liken someone to a moose, would you be able to take your eye off a large, antlered critter that wondered into the bar?

23. "Excuse me, are you a poutine? Because you're a delicious mess that I want to devour."

Telling someone they're a mess, then immediately evoking cannibalistic imagery is a bold choice, but it's still not quite as bad as...

24. "Excuse me, are you from Toronto? Because you're the 6ix I've been looking for."

Whew boy...

25. "Do you have some Canadian in you? Would you like some?"

The famous final words of someone who was subsequently barred from entering the bar ever again.

So there you have it, solid proof that even if artificial intelligence does take away our writing jobs, at least it's even further behind in the human romance department. Check out our previous story on (human-generated) Canadian pickup lines to see how the robots are stacking up.

Andrew Joe Potter
Features Editor
Andrew Joe Potter was a Features Editor for Narcity Media Group based in Toronto, Ontario.