The past year has brought challenges to many aspects of life, including the dating world. With social distancing and lockdown, relationships have moved to the virtual realm, and online dating tips are always welcome. Logan Ury is a behavioural scientist, dating coach, and director of Relationship Science at Hinge, an online dating app. In a private press conference, Ury revealed some ways in which to navigate the virtual dating world in a time where you can't meet in person. Editor's Choice: Rick Mercer Says To Imagine Ford Is Watching You If You Hook-Up During Ontario's Lockdown Do some self-reflecting Ury explained that since the pandemic began, she's seen a shift towards more intentional dating. "A lot of people spent the first few months of the pandemic thinking, who am I, what do I want, how do I want to show up in a relationship?" Due to this self-reflection, users have said that they're being more selective and thoughtful about their matches. "Ghosting is the number one issue for modern daters, and [it's] now down 27%," she said. She also described the importance of understanding dating blind spots. "People have bad habits that they're repeating over and over [...] and they actually did self-audits and identified things that have been holding them back and that they're going to change." Make Virtual Dates Fun If regular dates weren't nerve-racking enough, the current video dating culture can make things even more intimidating. "It's really nice when you do something together, even though you're apart," Ury said. She suggested activities like buying ingredients and making the same meal. "You're enjoying the same food, even though you cooked it apart, and you can do that with a fun cocktail, you can do that with a themed meal." She also talked about watching the same TV show with the Netflix Party feature. "You can actually be watching the same movie and talk about it throughout." Make the connection deeper It can be hard to feel connected when you aren't able to meet in person, but asking thought-provoking questions can help. "There's that famous 36 questions to fall in love, and these are questions that increase in intimacy and vulnerability," Ury said. She also spoke about the pandemic as an opportunity to slow down and focus on building a relationship. "I think people are using this as a moment to slow down and get to know someone and see what unfolds when you focus on one person." While virtual dating can be tough, Ury said that there are some upsides to it. "A positive is that there are fewer distractions and you can actually just focus on having that deep conversation."
