6 Places I'd Take You In Texas If I Hated You, As-Told By A Local Born & Raised Here

I would typically steer clear of Dallas.

Texas StaffWriter Brittany Cristiano in a polka dot dress. Right: A street in Dallas, TX.
Texas Staff Writer

Texas Staff Writer Brittany Cristiano in a polka dot dress. Right: A street in Dallas, TX.

Brittany Cristiano | Narcity, Michael Bogner | Dreamstime

The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.

It can be fun to hypothesize ways to annoy your worst enemies.

I saw a recent trend on TikTok where users would name places in their home city that they would bring a person they hate — a hypothetical mortal enemy, per se — if they were visiting them.

The trend is basically a funny social media opportunity for locals to roast, bash, or joke about infamous local haunts that everyone knows.

So, I decided to give it a Texas-wide try and create an itinerary for my pretend foe of popular places most Texans have visited or would know about that I personally don't enjoy experiencing.

Here are six places around the state I would bring you if I absolutely loathed you.

Sixth Street on a busy Saturday night in Austin, TX.


A struggle bus with pure dedication #austintx

Experiencing the state capital is a must-do when visiting the Lone Star State, and so many tourists are inclined to head to the bars of the infamous spread of "Dirty Sixth" Street.

While, yes, I've had some fun times at the bars on the street, there is nothing more suffocating than walking that street on a busy Saturday night filled with drunken patrons, beaming travelers, and Californians who probably just moved here.

There's also literally something strange always happening, like people jumping on cars and groups of Spidermen romping around.

The DFW cesspool of cheating and infidelity.

Last year, the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex was found to have some of the most unfaithful people in the entire country.

So, I would bring my enemy to this drama-filled city where chances are, whomever you date, you can expect a TikTok to be made about you asking if you are a cheater in a relationship or not.

The Madisonville Buc-cee's during rush hour.


I love buc-ees just as much as every Texan but so many people every time 😅 #bucees #crowded #people #texas #texan

This is very specific, but those who have road tripped between Houston and Dallas know what I mean.

We Texans love our mega convenience stores, but visiting one particular location on a busy thoroughfare at the height of traffic makes for an overwhelming experience where everyone packs into the Buc-cee's like sardines.

You hardly have the brainpan to decide whether you want beaver nuggets or an ICEE, and I think it's so tragic.

East Texas in the height of summer.

Texas summers are unbearable, but more so in the gnarly swampy areas of East Texas.

I'd drop people I don’t like off for a hike in the Sabine National Forest in the middle of July, where they are sure to be devoured by mosquitos and smothered in sweat by the sticky humidity.

College Station. Or, rather, "Aggieland."


I now understand why they call A&M a cult #aggies #texasam #tamu #sec #cfb #tradition #oldrow #foryou

My Texas A&M University alumni sister and friends might hate me for this, but experiencing their town can be pretty gobsmackingly jarring to many visitors. It always was for me.

The giant college town is full of ultra-proud Aggies and so many traditions that it's like its own cult-ish world where, if you're not a part of it, you feel like an alien from another planet.

Brownsville, TX. The worst place in Texas for dating.

My enemy visitors better hope they aren't looking for love because a stop in Brownsville, TX will bring you to one of the worst places to find a boo in the United States, a study recently round.

There are really just not a lot of date night spots here, or even single Brownsvillians to go on dates with.

Brittany Cristiano
Texas Staff Writer
Brittany Cristiano was a Staff Writer for Narcity’s USA Desk focused on viral TikToks, and trending local characters in the Southern United States. She is based in Houston, Texas.