8 Things You Need To Know For August 25

Happy "Friday Jr." — Andrew from Narcity here! ☕

Off The Top: This gentlemen's establishment down in Atlanta has made waves with its unique tradition — throwing cocktail napkins at the dancers instead of real money. Sure, it's all fun and games until a performer tries to pay her rent in gently used bar supplies.

In Case You Missed It

1. What Sort Of House Does $1M Get You Across Ontario?

Sure, "one million" is a nice, round number, but thanks to inflation, a million bucks in Canada just ain't what it used to be, especially in Ontario's somewhat cooler but still over-the-top housing market. So what exactly does seven figures get you across our country's most populous province? Our Madeline Forsyth compared $1 million listings for Kingston, Ottawa, Saint Catharines, Belleville, London, Guelph, Thunder Bay and, of course, Toronto and they range from gorgeous Georgian estates to knock-down bungalows.

• My Take: If we can convince 50,000 millennials plus a couple good brunch spots and sushi restaurants to relocate, I guess I'm fine with moving to Belleville.

2. Quebec Could Look Into Free Uni Tuition & It Makes Sense

How different would your life have been if the option for a free university degree had existed? That's the focus of a new study about post-secondary institutions in Quebec, according to MTL Blog's Thomas MacDonald. Interestingly, the report concludes that not only does the current tuition model no longer serve the province but Quebec also has the means to go tuition-free — if they want to. Here's how making university free would work.

• Context: Universities are BIG business. Among the top bosses of Montreal's four major universities — Concordia, McGill, UQÀM and Université de Montreal — three boasted a base salary of at least $400K in 2021, including one principal who received almost another $400K in taxable benefits.

3. A 'Love Is Blind' Reunion Is Hitting Netflix & It Smells Like Chaos

For the second time in a week, a couple from season two of the reality show Love is Blind booked a one-way trip to Splitsville, U.S.A. Danielle Ruhl and Nick Thompson will follow Iyanna McNeely and Jarrette Jones' lead by filing for divorce, shattering the hearts of viewers who thought that a courtship essentially born out of a partial sensory deprivation chamber would last forever. Josh Elliott has the details on the reunion special coming to Netflix.

• My Take: Rob and Amber from Survivor gave me unrealistic expectations for reality TV showmances.

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What Else You Need To Know Today

🎉 HOLIDAYS
Improbably, it's both National Burger Day and National Banana Split Day. It seems like a bit of a waste to have on the same day but whatever. Your cardiologist will ultimately thank you for participating (and helping put their kids through college).

💍 JEN & BEN
It took two decades and several additional high-profile relationships for Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck to finally tie the knot, so you can forgive them for continuing to buck tradition. Per Josh Elliott, not only did JLo wear multiple wedding dresses at their Georgia nuptials, she actually told attendees (like Jay and Silent Bob!) to show up in all-white.

🍕 PIZZA MIND
Yesterday, Morning Brief shared the dire news that Tim Hortons is testing out pizza at select locations in Canada. If your idea of a fun time includes qualities like "limp," "wet" and "hints of garlic," check out Brooke Houghton's dismissive review of Tims' latest offering.

📌 JOB BOARD
Autumn lovers, assemble. According to Josh Elliott, U.K. fashion brand Pour Moi is looking to hire a "Pumpkin Spice Latte Tester," which for some of you might be the easiest buck you'll ever make.

🎂 BIRTHDAYS
Honourary Canadian Blake Lively turns 35 years old today (xoxo). OG O.C. actress Rachel Bilson turns 41. TV personality Rachael Ray has been around for 54 years. Billy Ray Cyrus, creator of one of the most annoying pop culture items of our lifetime, is 61. Macabre director Tim Burton is 64. Break out your best (worst) Scottish brogue; the late Sean Connery was born on this day in 1930.

Thanks for reading Narcity's Canada Morning Brief — the only newsletter brave enough to note that Connery's Finding Forrester is almost a beat-by-beat copy of Good Will Hunting.

Let me know where you can actually find an incredible-looking banana split — the comically large ones Jughead might devour in one those old Archie Comics — at andrew.potter@narcity.com.

Have a great day and see you back here tomorrow!