The 2023 Oscars Swag Bag Is Worth $126K & One Prize Will 'Slap The $#%& Out Of Alopecia'

Too soon?

Senior Editor
Lash Fary with the Distinctive Assets 2023 "Everyone Wins" gift bag. Right: A meme showing Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars.

Lash Fary with the Distinctive Assets 2023 "Everyone Wins" gift bag. Right: A meme showing Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars.

Courtesy of Distinctive Assets

It's nice to be nominated for the 2023 Oscars no matter how it turns out because all the nominees are getting a swag bag worth an estimated US $126,000 this year.

However, that bag is not so nice if you're Chris Rock, Will Smith or Jada Pinkett Smith, because this year's haul includes a prize that really throws shade at the 2022 Oscars slap.

The L.A.-based marketing company Distinctive Assets has released the 2023 contents of its annual "Everyone Wins" gift bag, and there are definitely some odd prizes in store for this year's nominees. The whole thing is worth about $126,000 according to Forbes, although it's hard to put a price on some of the items.

For instance, how much would you pay for a shaman to read you Jo Bowlby's A Book for Life? And if someone gave you an "ultimate mental health orb," how would you even know it works?

Perhaps the most eyebrow-raising prize is the "comprehensive hair restoration services and hair wellness products" offered by Bauman Medical, one of several pricey cosmetics treatments included in the bag.

"Slap the $#%& Out of Alopecia," reads a meme promoting the prize on Bauman Medical's Instagram. The meme also includes an illustrated recreation of Will Smith slapping the sh*t out of Chris Rock at last year's Oscars, after Rock joked about Jada's hair loss.

Jada Pinkett Smith has been open about her hair loss from alopecia, so while this prize may be useful to some, you could argue it's also a bit offside.

However, many on Instagram didn't seem to feel that way, as they jumped into the comments to laugh at the joke.

"This was super funny," wrote one user.

"I feel for the man though," added another.

Distinctive Assets isn't associated with the Oscars, but the company is known for handing out lavish swag bags to Academy Award nominees ahead of the show each year.

This year's swag bag includes a bunch of cosmetic products, several lavish beauty treatments, various artisanal snacks and designer flip-flops from Havaianas, according to a news release from Distinctive Assets.

Nominees will also get free trips to a lighthouse in Italy and a luxury estate outside of Ottawa, Canada.

The bag includes many other items, including books, clothes, a photoshoot kit, a medallion and even a tiny plot of land in Australia that's been set aside for conservation efforts.

"While this gift bag does, as always, have an impressive value, that is neither our focus nor goal. This is a straightforward win/win," said the company's founder, Lash Fary, in a news release.

"These nominees are in a unique position to help participating brands immeasurably by simply wearing, using and talking about these products... This isn't frivolity; it is basic economics."

The 2023 Oscars will take place on Sunday night at 8 p.m. Eastern.

Josh Elliott
Senior Editor
Josh Elliott is a Senior Editor for Narcity Media focused on celebrity interviews and is based in Toronto, Ontario.