8 Things You Need To Know For July 29

Good morning — Andrew from Narcity here! ☕

Off The Top: A Texas man has built a massive following for dressing up like a bush and scaring people — an especially frightening notion for liberals who lived through the Dubya presidency.

Psst... You can now sign up for the (far superior) email version of the Canada Morning Brief right here.

In Case You Missed It

1. Maximize Your Carry-On, Checked Baggage Be Damned

Look, if you're flying in or out of Canada — especially Pearson — and still checking luggage after everything we've seen, just keep scrolling. For everyone else hoping to minimize the possibility of having to scale a literal mountain of bags, Sameen Chaudhry is here to break down seven TikTok travel hacks for getting the most out of your carry-on luggage.

• My Take: Travel will never be the same once you've been taught how to properly roll your clothes while packing.

2. Reviewing Starbucks' Off-Menu 'Stranger Things' Drink

Some of these viral "secret" menu items simply beggar belief, so our Katherine Caspersz had to try the latest Starbucks sensation for herself. Here's what she really thought about the "Upside Down," a Stranger Things-inspired mix of fruit and syrupy foam that looks like the result of a flamingo falling into an industrial blender.

• My Take: There is no greater tradition in western culture than holding up the line at Starbucks while forcing an unfortunate staffer to make an unsanctioned, 2,500-calorie concoction.

3. Inside The Underrated Ottawa Winery Scene

It's probably not the first corner of the world you'd think of when picturing lush vineyards but the Ottawa area boasts a surprisingly large number of wineries. Not only do they make for a fun afternoon of tastings but most also have solid food options — to say nothing of Instagram-worthy vistas among the vines. Megan Renaud profiles eight wineries worth checking out this summer.

• My Take: I had a nice evening at Kin Vineyards in Carp, ON, last summer. The pizza from their on-site food vendor, Joe's Italian Kitchen, is not to be missed.

What Else You Need To Know Today

🎉 HOLIDAYS
Pucker up; it's National Lipstick Day. It's also National Chicken Wing Day and National Lasagna Day — but if you're thinking about celebrating the latter observance, you better read the next section, too.

🤮 FOOD RECALL
Get ready to check your fridges and pantries. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency has announced recalls for six items, including a brand of lasagna that could have undeclared allergens. There are also cookies, hotdogs and chocolate on the list. Yikes.

🏖️ SURREAL ESTATE
If you're the religious type, you could do worse than literally buying a (former) house of worship. You'll find this two-bedroom house in a converted church in the quaint hamlet of Victoria Road, near Toronto. The listing price is currently a hair under $630K.

📌JOB BOARD
If you've ever dreamed of wearing one of those old-fashioned train engineer hats to work everyday... well, keep scrolling. But if transportation on rails is your thing, the Toronto Transit Commission is hiring for a wide range of positions.

🎂 BIRTHDAYS
Dallas Cowboys QB Dak Prescott is scrambling out of the pocket and into his 29th birthday. Allison Mack, the actress previously best known for not being a big part of the NXIVM sex cult, is 40. Professional nerd Wil Wheaton has circled the sun for half a century. Rush frontman (and Blue Jays superfan) Geddy Lee turns 69 today, as does cherished documentary filmmaker Ken Burns.

Thanks for reading Narcity's Canada Morning Brief — the newsletter that's still mulling its endorsement for Texas Bushman for 2024.

Let me know what you liked (and disliked) about today's edition at andrew.potter@narcity.com.

I'm off Monday, so have a great weekend and I'll see you back here on Tuesday!