Morning Brief: Ultimate Pumpkin Carving, A Ladybug Invasion & More

Happy Hump Day — Andrew from Narcity here. ☕

Off The Top: A Texas pizzeria's attempt to capitalize on the cultural zeitgeist backfired when customers took offence to its "Jeffrey Dahmer Special," a grizzly prop pie featuring fake eyeballs and fingers. In fairness, the serial-killer-inspired gag still isn't as unappetizing as the "Ted Cruz Tiramisu."

In Case You Missed It

1. The Federal Investigation Into Grocery 'Greedflation' Gets The Green Light

The Competition Bureau is officially moving forward with its investigation into Canada's grocery store industry — particularly, the perceived lack of competition between the major players at a time when the country's cost of living is historically high. As Tristan Wheeler reports, the Bureau will study the issue through June 2023 before publishing their report. However, there's at least one major hitch in the plan: the grocery companies aren't compelled to share any documents or data about their pricing decisions. So what will come of this, exactly?

2. Alberta's Premier Mulls The Possibility Of Pardoning COVID Rule-Breakers

Barely two weeks since being sworn in as Alberta's premier, UCP leader Danielle Smith continues to make headlines for her testy stance on pandemic-era measures. In an address at her party's recent general meeting, Smith revealed she was gathering "legal advice" on whether Albertans who received fines for violating COVID-19 health restrictions could receive pardons. Smith also spoke about her proposed Alberta Sovereignty Act, which could (hypothetically) allow the province to not enforce certain federal laws. Charlie Hart has more on Smith's speech here.

• In Her Words: "The things that come top of mind for me are people who got arrested as pastors and people who got given fines for not wearing masks," Smith said. "These are not things that are normal to get fines and get prosecuted for."
• What Else? Strangely, Smith's speech garnered support from American comedy-adjacent celebrity Rob Schneider — not typically an endorsement that portends a long, stable career in politics.
• My Take: I've reached out to the rest of the Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo cast for comment.

3. Apparently We've Been Carving Pumpkins Wrong This Entire Time

TikTok star Barbara Costello — aka "Everyone's Grandmother" — has been around the block a few times; this isn't her first spooky season. Now, she's sharing her years of Halloween wisdom with Millennials and Gen Zs. In a now-viral video, Costello walks us through a few key dos and don'ts when carving a jack-o-lantern — like using a hand mixer to quickly scrape out the guts without getting your hands nearly as slimy. Sameen Chaudhry breaks down the rest of the tips right here.

• My Take: I'm no pumpkin-carving novice — but there was one great tip that involved Vaseline that I'd never heard before.

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What Else You Need To Know Today

🐞 BUGGIN' OUT
If you've spent time in Montreal lately, you've probably noticed a dramatic uptick in the population of what at first glance looks like ladybugs. In fact, MTL Blog's Willa Holt reports, these are Asian lady beetles — and they actually pose a bit of a threat to both the local ladybug population as well as your clothes. Here's what to do if you're swarmed by these colourful menaces.

🍣 HIGH-END EATS
Following in the steps of Toronto, Vancouver will discover its inaugural class of Michelin star-rated restaurants this October 27. Ashley Harris spoke with locals to find out which spots they think deserve recognition by the internationally renowned fine-dining guide and some of the responses were definitely a bit surprising.

📌 JOB BOARD
Now's a good time to apply for a new job. Think about it: while many applicants will be content to wait until after the December holidays to start their search, how many hiring managers will be looking to settle those decisions before the new year? From dental clerks to project coordinators, Patrick John Gilson breaks down seven diverse jobs for the City of Toronto, including a bunch that pay over six figures.

👟 UNSUPPORTIVE
Recent tests found that eight sports bra brands and six athletic shirt brands contained up to 22 times the safe limit of Bisphenol A (BPA), an industrial chemical that can cause heart problems, Asymina Kantorowicz reports. The producers encompass not only cheaper brands but also athletic apparel giants like Nike, New Balance and Reebok. Here's why the steeply elevated presence of BPA will have many sports bra wearers feeling unsupported.

🎂 BIRTHDAYS
Former Toronto Raptors No. 1 overall pick Andrea Bargnani turns 37 years old today. Napoleon Dynamite himself, Jon Heder, is 45. Family Guy creator (and definite one-time Oscar host) Seth MacFarlane is 49. Aussie outlaw Keith Urban is 55. A 60th birthday party for Princess Bride hero Cary Elwes? As you wish. Hillary Clinton is 75. Consonant-obsessed game show host Pat Sajak is 76.

Thanks for reading Narcity's Canada Morning Brief — the newsletter printed on 100% BPA-free pixels.

Have a question or comment about today's edition? Let me know at andrew.potter@narcity.com or hit me up on Twitter if you'd prefer at @andrewjoepotter.

Have a great day and I will see you back here tomorrow!